Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
