We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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