Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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