Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
