Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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