My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
