What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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