We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
