she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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