if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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