I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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