My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
