i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
