if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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