What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
