ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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