Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
