You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
