Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize