Its about making memories worth repressing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
