At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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