guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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