Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
