this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
