no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
