5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
