so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
