Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
