Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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