he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My life is pants optional.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
