I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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