It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Four minutes until I can fart!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
