its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
