I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize