if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
