i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
