Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
