Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
