You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize