No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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