The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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