when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
