Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
