I wish you could order shots online.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
