I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
