I'm really into asian looking animals
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize