I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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