I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
