I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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