yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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