Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
