i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
