I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
