Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
