New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
