don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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