Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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