I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize