Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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