Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
