We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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