He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
