is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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