his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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