Need sex. Gaining weight.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
