He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
