its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
