Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
