i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
