He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
