Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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