Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
